Last month, I blogged about releasing my fear. It was a wonderful experience and I'm very grateful to be able to live life without my previously mysterious swallowing issues.
All of my fear got stuck during my toddler's infancy (it centred around her having tongue tie and not being able to nurse, so me not being able to swallow was incredibly symbolic), and as she grew up, I started to notice that she had some fear issues of her own; the dark would always upset her, and whenever I left her with her father, she would get incredibly upset. Now, she's my fifth child, so I am very familiar with developmentally appropriate separation anxiety. This was different - she wouldn't even hug her daddy or give him a kiss, even when she saw her siblings do the same (babies are great imitators!).
I wondered if something was up with her, and thought back to my stressful time when she was small. I used to carry her around in a ring sling just like this:
Slings are great! I wouldn't have another baby without one, but in this instance, I felt that my fear that got lodged in my chest was influencing my baby who was held against me in that area for so long.
Let me back up. Everything is energy. Go down to the sub-atomic level, and you will soon find that you can't get any smaller; the constituent parts of all things is energy, vibrating at different frequencies. Thought and emotion are included in this, so what we think and what we feel can have a physical effect on the world around us. So, in a very real way, my fearful emotions were vibrating right next to my baby, who couldn't help but pick up on that.
How could I help her? She's basically pre-verbal, although she does understand a lot and communicate quite well. After praying and meditating on the issue, I had the strong impression to wear her in a sling again. Now that my fear was released, wearing her in a sling could sort of re-set her emotional frequency.
It was worth a try! I gave up all my slings a few months ago because she was adamantly against being worn in a sling and wanted to walk everywhere. I didn't have anything to "wear" her in! So I jumped on a website where I could rent slings, and started looking for something suitable.
After feeling indecisive and wondering what to choose, I came upon this Mei Tai:
If you can tell by the two pictures above, the Mei Tai is made from the exact same fabric as the ring sling! I thought that was really fitting and had a lovely symbolism to it, so I rented it for two weeks. I felt like it was all she needed, and it coincided perfectly with a camping weekend.
As soon as the sling arrived in the post, I opened the package and tried it on. My toddler, who hadn't seen a sling for months and wasn't even talking when she was last in one, pointed to it and said "uppies" (which is what I used to call it, or I would ask if she wanted up). My heart filled with excitement and joy! This was going to work!
The Spirit referred to this sling wearing exercise as her medicine, so that's what I explained to her. Riding in the sling would be temporary, just like most medicine, and it would give her health and joy. She protested a couple of times when I got it out, just like before, but unlike before, once she was in the sling she was happy and content.
I returned the sling a few weeks ago, and her relationship with her dad is definitely improving. She gives him hugs without him asking, and if I have to go out she is comfortable in his care (although she still doesn't like me leaving). Miracle of miracles, she even goes to bed for him! Before, she would stay up as long as possible, waiting for my return, but now he can tuck her into bed and she falls to sleep on her own. I'm in awe of that, I really am! Being in the dark doesn't upset her as much, either. It's fantastic.
But I am so grateful to God for inspiring me to administer an unconventional remedy. I now feel very confident that when I go on my Level 1 Kundalini Yoga teacher training weekends, she will feel happy, safe and content with her daddy (as she should have all along). All is well.